Tagged: Dirty Sanchez

Making Erik Everhard Proud and NFL Realignment Dreams

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It took six days but the roommate is gone.  Los Gigantes now sit alone atop the NL West.  It is 2:30AM and I am still wide awake at
work and in quite a good mood.  My heightened
alertness can be the attributed to the quadruple espresso I finished at 1:00AM.  My euphoric mood is from stomping the Dodgers
to get to grab a hold of first place.

 

What a fun and satisfying win.  Aubrey and Buster went b2b, Garrrrr
(Renteria) had 4 knocks, Guiilen went 3×3 with a bomb, and the Dodgers were treated
to a Dirty Sanchez that would make even the great Erik Everhard proud. 

dirty_sanchez.jpg

#57 was dirtier than this.

Atta babe Sanchee.  True to form, you never know what you are
going to get with #57.  Last turn out,
Sanchez walked 7 in five innings but held down the Fathers.  I stated he was wildly effectively wild.  Tonight he pounded, pounded, and pounded the
zone some more.  Sanchez finished the
night 7in 4h 1r 0bb and a career high 12ks. 
It was only the 13th time in Los Gigantes history a pitcher
has had 0BBs and 12Ks.

 

Before the season KJ and I discussed how many victories Los
Gigantes needed from their starters to make the playoffs.  We decided on 60.  Los Gigantes are at 53.  They will need to get to 60 to get in. 

 

KJ and I are smart.

 

If Los Gigantes make the playoffs, Sanchez is getting a
start in the NLDS.  The $126 million
dollar man will be a reliable long man. Well, I hope Mr. Zito is cast into that
roll.  I hope Bruce Bochy doesn’t have
any “Seattle Spirit” with Zito and his experience in the post-season.  I was in Seattle this past weekend and learned what the
“Seattle Spirit” is all about.  This is
the definition, as defined by a tour guide with a Masters in History from Western Washington
University, “Seattle Spirit is when a person has an idea,
even if it is a bad idea, and continues with the idea until the idea is either
finished or until it becomes a good idea.”

 

I had two epiphanies.

 

I must have been born in Seattle, because most of my actions and
thoughts epitomize Seattle Spirit.

 

I finally understand how the WNBA came to be. 

 

The Seattle Storm won the WNBA Championship tonight.  Somehow, it feels right.  I am sure the 2010 WNBA Championship trophy
makes up for missing out watching Kevin Durant over the next decade.

 

I will write about my Seattle
adventure over the weekend.  The trip
involved plenty of Seattle Spirit. 

 

…but on the way to Seattle,
something amazing happened.

 

KJ, LJ, and I were on the road to the Airport at 3:00AM.  We were all on 3 hours of sleep or less.  The radio was the only thing audible.

 

At 3:45 amidst the silence, KJ gets up, clears his throat,
and has something to say.

 

KJ: “Holy Cheese (edit), I got a great idea.”

SLY: “Yeah?”

KJ: “I’m going to realign the NFL.”

SLY: “It has already been done.”

KJ: “Not like this.  I
want o realign the NFL by grouping the mascots.”

 

I smiled and turned around. 
This sounded like a great way to kill some time at the airport.

 

We started grouping the teams into new divisions.

 

We met up with some non-sports fans friends (Law Students)
and posed asked them for their advice about the subject over a many adult
beverages.

 

“We have 32 people/places/things and want to make 6-8 groups/divisons
with 4-6 in each group/division where the people/places/things all have some
common thread.”

 

We had a pen and paper.  The law students gave good insights and
perspective.  After much debate, here is
our NFL realignment:

 

 

 Bird
Division                                                     

·Cardinals

·Falcons

·Eagles

·Ravens

·Seahawks

A Solid division with a couple of solid
super bowl contenders.

Predator Division

·Bears

·Panthers

·Jaguars

·Lions

·Bengals

Uhhh, this reminds me of the NFC West.  Bengals win the division with 9 wins!

Hooved Division

·Bills

·Broncos

·Colts

·Rams

Colts win this division every year until
Peyton Manning can no longer breathe.


Wild West Division

·49ers

·Cowboys

·Redskins

·Chiefs

I am happy the 49ers and Cowboys would play
every year.  We could also call this the
Over-Rated division.

Hometown Heroes Division 1

·Titans (Formerly
Oilers, makes more sense then)

·Steelers

·Texans

·Patriots

·Jets

The AL EAST of the NFL. All
5 teams are playoff contenders.

 

Hometown Heroes Division 2

·Giants

· Saints

·Chargers

·Packers

·Browns
(Paul
Brown
)

 Drew
Brees would get to go all “Brett Favrey” on the Bolts twice a year.  Fun.

 

Rape and Pillage Division

·Raiders

·Vikings

·Buccaneers

·Dolphins
(They are defenseless sea mammals.)  

Have you ever seen a
Dolphin rape and pillage a pirate?  You
would in this division.

 

 

The traveling secretaries would all get a massive
raise.  It would be well deserved.

 

We must do this with MLB.

 

I am starting at work now.

 

MadBum on the bump tomorrow night. 

 

oh Bernie!.jpg

Remember me Bernie?

 

Bring on the Ceverceros.

I Think Something Good Happened

On the way back home on the 5 from a trip to San Diego for Street Scene (The Silversun Pickups killed!) my friend drove at a frantic pace over the grapevine to reel in KNBR’s signal. 

We both had our phone on sfgiants.com automatically refreshing every 15 seconds for updates.

I checked my phone.

The score was 5-2 in favor of the Rockies in the bottom of the seventh inning.

SLY:  “The bases are loaded, Renteria is up.”

KJ: “All we need is a base hit to get back into the game.”

SLY: “F-That, hit a Fing granny.”

KJ: “Ohh, shoot for the stars, huh?”

 

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Shoot for the Stands!

SLY: “No, just shooting for the stands.  Stars are not attainable.  The stands are. Try the radio again.”

 

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shhheezzzzzzz zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzstaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaattttttttttiiiiiiiiiiccccccc

KJ:  “I think something good happened.”

SLY:  “How can you tell?”

KJ: ” I think I heard Los Gigantes take the lead.”

SLY: “Renteria hit a granny?….whhhaaat?”

KJs phone refreshed with an update.

It was true, Renteria went YA-YA!  We’re up 6-5. 

Magical moments in a magical season.

chaos.jpg 

Chaos erupted in KJ’s truck.  High fives and enthusiastic F-Bombs filled the air. I am glad the 5 is straight.  I don’t think KJ’s hands were on the wheel.  I don’t know how we manged not to crash.  Fing Amazing.

Shoot for the Stands.

Not the stars.

I think I am going to use that line again in a big situation.

KNBR was now crystal clear as we finished the grapevine. 

Los Gigantes had to bagel up (put up a zero) in the 8th. 

Affeldt was on the bump.

Damn, leadoff broken bat double for Ian Stewart.

Clint Barmes came to the plate and tried to move Stewart to third. 

I have to say, I can not stand this play.  Stay inside the ball and hit a hard ground ball the other way.  The worst case scenario if you are successful is a man on 3rd and one out.  

Barmes pops up the bunt and Affeldt makes a great play to catch it. 

Yorvit Torrealba hits a single to right field.  Stewart holds at third base.  What?  KJ and I were stunned the Rockies did not challenge Winn in right field.  Have they not scouted Los Gigantes the past couple months?

First and third with one out.

We are hanging on every syllable from the mouth of Dave Flemming.

Garrent Atkins pinch hits.  Grab some pine meat.  Two outs.

Carlos Gonzalez, Hasta La Bye Bye on two consecutive hooks.

Booo yea son.

Los Gigantes build on their lead by adding three in the bottom of the inning.

Wilson makes it a little hairy in the 9th after a missed pop up with two outs but the game ends with an Ian Stewart strike out.

Are we all healed from the Monday Massacre?

 

healing_flow.jpg

We all feel healed after the sweep of the Rockies

I think so.

The experience of listening to this game on the long drive home was something I will not soon forget.  The wait for KNBR to come in was unbearable.  When it finally became audible it felt like the greatest gift ever given.  I digested every word. 

God, it was beautiful.

Baseball is the greatest sport in the world.

Los Gigantes are all square in the wild card after five months.  The marahton has become a sprint.  

I hope Los Gigantes have a little Usian Bolt in them.

 

usain_bolt_.jpg

Sprint to the Wild Card!

 

On to Philly where the Phills will be looking for a little revenge after Los Gigantes took 3 of 4 from them when the Phills were in San Francisco.

Im looking for the dirty Sanchez tonight.

dirty_sanchez.jpg 

This could be a potential playoff preview.

I will pray to Jesus Christo that it will be. 

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