Potty Training

Why does my three-year old fight like hell to keep wearing diapers?

Maybe it’s the attention. Maybe it’s the freedom to piss and shit whenever, wherever. 

Whatever the reasoning in the mind of Peyton, it’s frustrating to no end. 

I took a stand on Wednesday. Diapers out and panties in. 

Peyton wanted no part of it. 

She pissed her pants within a hour. Her response? “Mommy will clean it.”

I put her in diapers when we headed out in public.

Peyton 1, Dad 0.

Mom took over as I headed to work. Peyton pissed and shit herself. Two additional accidents. 

It couldn’t get worse, could it?

Thursday did not start off well. 

Panties on at 8:30am. 

I asked her every 20 minutes if she had to use the potty. 

Every time she confirmed she didn’t have to go. 

She ran off to her room at 9:30am and returned with new clothes and soiled panties and pants left in her room. 

10:15am she returned again with new clothes. Urine soaked panties and shorts left in her room. 

Okay. I’m bringing out the big guns, in the form of rewards and fear. 

Dad: “Peyton, do you want a cookie?”

Peyton: “Yes.”

Dad: “if you use the potty I will give you a cookie. If you pee your pants again, I’m going to spank you.”


Peyton: “I have to go potty.”

We go to the bathroom and get Peyton ready to do her business. 

Peyton: “Daddy, I need privacy.”

Jeeze. Fine. 

Tinkle- Tinkle. 

Peyton: “I’m done.”

Maybe there is a God.

Peyton got her cookie. Karis (5 year old Big Sister) got one for being supportive. 


Peyton: “Daddy, I need to go potty again”

We head back to th scene of our previous accomplishment and experience another. 

Cookies for all. 

Karis calls for me at 1:15pm. Peyton is in the bathroom. 

I went to investigate.

We have poop in the toilet. I repeat, poop in the toilet. Fucking Splash!!!!

High Five, PeyShay!

What do you do after a Warriors type run of controlled bodily function?

Dance Party, duh. 


Until tomorrow. 


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