Time Theft

I have had to work nights the last few months. The hours are now causing problems.  Most Gigantes home games start an hour after I start work.  It is fair to say I am useless from first to last pitch.  I learned from “The Office” this is known as Time Theft. 

 


time theft.jpg 

I am a ninja when it comes to Time Theft.

 

In fact, I am ignoring many of my job responsibilities as I write this. 

 

Here are some comments and questions I have received from customers since the baseball season started:

 

“You look horrible. What happened?” (Baseball started, I couldn’t sleep.)

 

“Shaun, do you work here?” (No, I always put on a suit.)

 

“Ohh, Los Gigantes are on, Shaun is useless.” (That’s about right.)

 

“Do you get paid to watch television?” (As long as Los Gigantes game is on.)

 

“Shaun…Shaun….Shaun!!!!!!” (I wasn’t paying attention)

 

“Shaun will be with you when the game is over.” (Thank you for your understanding… Mangement.)

 

“I am sorry I am taking you away from your game.”  (I usually enjoy sarcasm.)

 

“Why do you look so nervous?” (Zito was pitching with a lead. I am not sure how to react yet.)

 

Barry Zito Drinking Game Results for 4/12/2010

 


Barry Zito and Goose.jpg 

***Side Note***

 An amendment had to be made to the BZDG.  After Barry’s first start when he shut down the Astros, it has been determined that a 1-2-3 inning constitutes the consumption of one full beer/adult beverage.

 

One gulp for:

Walk-3

Single-4

Any pick-off attempt-2

Any time Zito adjusts his cap and runs his hand through his dreamy hair –3

Two gulps for:

Double- 1

Stolen Base allowed-1

Three gulps for:

Triple-

One complete beverage for:

1-2-3 Inning – 3

Home Run –

Run-3

Any time “former Cy Young award winner” is mentioned-

Any time “P90X” is mentioned-

Three straight pick overs to 1st base-

Balk-1   

Zito striking out an opposing player with a fastball .-

If Zito reaches base, any way possible.-

 

For every inning after the 5th that Zito starts, a celebratory beverage must be consumed.-2

 

(8 gulps = one beer)

 

Inning by Inning breakdown:

1st1 Beer, 7 gulps (BB, 1B, SB, Balk, 3 Hair Adjustments)

2nd – 1 Beer, 4 gulps (BB, 1B, R, 2 Pickoff Attempts)

3rd – 1 Beer (1-2-3 Inning)

4th  – 1 Beer (1-2-3 Inning)

5th – 1 Beer, 3 gulps (1B, 2B, R)

6th – 2 Beers (1-2-3 Inning, 6th inning started)

7th – 2 Beer, 2 gulps (BB, 1B, 7th inning started, R)

8th – X

9th – X

Total: 11 full beers

Thanks to KJ for keeping the scorebook tonight.

The BZDG was very successful.  Los Gigantes won and 11 full beers were consumed in a two hour time frame.  This almost qualifies as “Tucker Max Drunk.”  I hope everyone who participated had a sober ride home. 


_drunk-guy.jpg 

Los Gigantes put up NINE more runs tonight. 

The past couple of years I have grown accustomed to many oval and straight looking numbers on the scoreboard.  

I forgot what those crooked numbers look like.


crooked numbers.jpg 

My memory is starting to come back.

I have a few nice things to say to the Pittsburg Pirates franchise.

Dear Pittsburg Pirates franchise,

Oh, how I love you.  Thank you for grooming Barry Lamar.  Thank you for the Jason Schmidt/John Vanderwall for Ryan Vogelsong/Armando Rios trade.  Thank you for taking the corpse of Matt Morris (and his entire remaining contract) for Rajai Davis (who knew he would be so good?).  I am not sure if I can thank you yet for Freddy Sanchez.  I hope for your sake that Tim Alderson ends up being a solid big leaguer.  Here’s the deal, as Gigantes fans, we are used to Brian Sabean getting trade raped (save Julian Tavarez trade where Jeff Kent was the throw in).  You seem to be the ying to Sabean’s yang.  As bad as most of Sabean’s trades have been, when it comes to making deals with you, he always seems to steal gold (pardon the pun).

All my love,

Shaun

P.S. Your ballpark looks beautiful.

 

I only have one more day of work this week which will coincide with a Gigantes game.  I hope my boss does not document time theft. 

 

guilty as charged.jpg

Guilty if charged.

 

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12 comments

  1. bklyntrolleyblogger

    Time Theft and the BZDG….Punch my time card and slide a draft down the bar will ya..?
    So…for your initial ride on the BTB you decided to give me the (very Old) M.E.T.Sucks routine. Interesting way to say hello. As the current care taker of my former rebel-child Giants who eloped with the Dodgers to the left coast, I guess the enemy of my enemy is my friend, right?
    We share common ground on our hatred for the Dodgers.
    Hello.
    Mike.

  2. diamondgirl55

    Haha, a time thief! I love it. I know, don’t you hate that your job coincides with baseball?! What is your management (my management) thinking to schedule us when the Giants/Mariners are on?! Also, that picture of Barry Zito is horrendous. Ick. xoxo http://diamondgirl55.mlblogs.com

  3. Beeeebzy

    Time Theft! Brilliant! Why didn’t I think of that?

    I’m a native New Yorker, currently living in Dubai for work, and I follow my Yankees religiously. If anyone shares your ninja skills in the art of Time Theft, it’s me.

    The earliest a game ever starts for me is 9:05pm. Most games start at 3a.m. my time! So, yes, Time Theft is definitely an art I have mastered.

    Great blog. The Barry Zito Drinking Game is pure genius. Definitely adding you to my Blog Roll!

    Keep up the great work.

    – Hiba
    “Pretty In Pinstripes”
    http://prettyinpinstripes.mlblogs.com/

  4. raysfanboy

    Sounds like you are a little bit of a “Shaun of the Dead” at work when those Giants are playing. What’s up with trading Fred Lewis? He’s a hitter, isn’t he? Isn’t it good to have nice depth on the bench for a 162 game season. He’s saved your bacon before. I’m surprised about moving him to Toronto.

    Good stuff.

    http://raysfanboy.mlblogs.com

  5. dodgerdrei

    Hey there, good buddy from the North. Just posted something for our weekend series. Come by and read up. BTW, as for your team’s fast start and our slow start, I ain’t worried, yet….. Enjoy the games this weekend, and if you ever need a reminder who god cheers for, just look at the color of the sky during the day 🙂 GO DODGERS !!!!!

    Andrei
    http://dodgerdrei.mlblogs.com

  6. crzblue2

    Well April 13th was the Opener at Dodger Stadium and there is no way I can get away with calling in sick so a vacation day is always in for that day. I tried to talk my boss into giving it to me as a religious holiday but he would not go for it although he said he never met someone as religious as I am about my beloved Bums, the Dodgers.
    .
    It was just so sweeeeet to take two out of three from the hated Jints.
    -Emma

    Crzblue’s Dodger Blue World

  7. raysrenegade

    Dude,
    The drinking game is so funny, but sadly true on some nights no matter who is throwing.
    I might try it out during the next Tampa Bay Rays/Seattle series since it is late night and I can blame the late night start on the blurry eyes and slurred speech in the morning on the telephone.
    I still remember some show on television that everytime the woman doing the interview said “Um” it was a beer gulp or a shot….I dubbed the tape one night and reedited it to say “um” 85 times to freak out some friends during College.
    I miss thise drunken fools, I mean friends.
    Thanks for lighting up my Friday night with this blog.
    I will be smiling for day….Thanks

    Rays Renegade

    http://raysrenegade.mlblogs.com

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