Have you ever had a day which went horrible but then when you look back and it could have been a lot worse?
That was my Monday.
I woke up on Monday with my eyes a shade of red which would have made Joseph Stalin blush.I arrived to work and tried to have as little contact with other employees and customers as possible. I had no idea what was wrong with my eyes.I thought about using WebMD.com for a self diagnosis but I didn’t feel like reading my obituary.WebMD seems to always come up with a diagnosis which is in need of immediate emergency care.
A Doctor’s appointment was made for later in the afternoon.
I filled out my new patient paperwork when I arrived at the doctor’s office.I saw a familiar face in the back of the office.
SLY: “Is that the Doctor?”
Receptionist: “Why yes, it is.”
SLY: “Funny, I know him. He is a customer of mine.”
Receptionist: “Where do you work?”
SLY: “Uh, the Casino.”
Dang it, I probably shouldn’t have called out the doctor before he sees me.
Doctor: “Whoa!” (As the Doctor entered the patient room)
I made sure to give the Doctor his proper respects by referring to him as Dr. (insert last name here), instead of the initials I have known him as for the last two years as a customer.
Doctor (insert last name here) had a surprisingly great personality.He was also a huge baseball and Gigantes fan.
Maybe that’s why I liked him.
Turns out I had some crazy allergies, much better than the diagnosis I would have received on WebMD.It took 27 years, but I finally experienced what so many of my family and friends complain of each year.
I now feel your pain in my eyes and wallet.The three prescriptions clocked in at $125.
Why do I pay for health insurance?
I arrived home in a bitter mood because of the cash spent on the prescriptions, the allergies, and there was no Gigantes game to look forward to.
The bitter mood soon turned to panic.
I noticed some water on the street in front of my house.I looked a little closer, it was not “some” water, it was a lot of water. Water was pouring into the street.I then heard an odd sound; it was the sound of water shooting into the air.I looked in horror as I saw what resembled “Old Faithful” in my backyard.
Water was shooting about 15 feet in the air.It was impressive.I would have taken time to snap a picture ff it wasn’t for the fact it was destroying the home I owe so much money on.
I threw off my suit, grabbed shorts, a shirt, and shoes I knew would be ruined.I ran to the backyard which was now 6-8 inches under water.I found the broken pipe, and was unable to stop Old Faithful.
I ran to the front of the house and turned off the main water supply.I looked like I just walked out of a swimming pool as I stood in shock on the sidewalk.
As I stood there soaked and dumbfounded, a lady walked past me with her dog.
LadyiWantedtoPunch: “Oh, Water.”
She then proceeded to lightly jump over the little puddle that was in her path.
I wanted to scream and curse her.
Look at me, almost grown up and able to deal with others.
I naturally called my Home Warranty company to fix my little water problem.
Turns out, the Home Warranty company (Fidelity Home Warranty) only covers incidents inside the actual home.
Thank you, I will now cancel your service.
I was unable to secure a plumber for Monday night.I would have brought out the soap and shampoo when Old Faithful was erupting if I known that would be the case.
A plumber arrived on Tuesday morning.I was expecting a hefty bill to fix the pipe.I acted like it was an easy fix to the plumber, and it was.$90 and 10 minutes later, my pipe was repaired.
As the plumber left he showed me where I could have shut off the water for only outside.
I felt like I belonged on the short bus.
I took a shower to wash off the shame of my home owner incompetence before work.
All in All the day could have been worse.My eyes could have had an un-curable new strain of pinkeye and my house could have been completely flooded.
I’ll take the $215 tab and shame of not knowing how my home functions.
I hate off-days.